03

First things first, I have made a discovery – I need to invest in a monitor for post-processing photos. The display on my laptop is very vibrant and so when I see my photos on another screen they look a bit flat. It’s basically misleading trying to PP photos on such a vibrant display – they will inevitably look better to me than they will to others. This explains why prints come back darker than I anticipate.

If anyone reading this can recommend a good but reasonably priced monitor with this in mind, then it’d be much appreciated if you could leave a comment. In the meantime, I have tried to compensate but it is difficult to do. So for now, I will just have to accept that all images are going to be a bit offish. 

Several times a month, I go and stay in Southend-On-Sea, for that is where my mum and the majority of people that I know live. Between the train station and my mum’s house, there are quite a few office buildings – some in use, some not. The whole area from A to B is a mini concrete jungle. As imposing as it all is, I find something quite beautiful about it. I’ve been meaning to take photos there for quite some time and finally got around to doing so on Thursday:

Southend's answer to Stonehenge.

"There's a little bird that somebody sends / Down to the earth to live on the wind."

As I mentioned during the last post, I am not a fan of water. I make an exception at sunset though. When I eventually upgrade my camera, I look forward to getting some decent sunset photos. As much as I have loved the Canon 450D, it gets so grainy in low-light situations and my hands are not steady enough to keep the ISO set below 800 in such lighting – grainy is at least better than blurry. Still, my photos would be improved by being able to up the ISO and shutter speed as and when required. Yes yes, I would carry a tripod if it were practical. I should probably try spot metering also – that I can do with the 450D.

My mum as a silhouette.

Aside from blabbering about cameras, I can tell you that my router has died. Thus I shall be spending a lot less time online until it is replaced. Not a bad thing at all. Perhaps I will have an epiphany. Or at least make a start on the book pile that sits here beside me.

02

Saturday was a good day spent wandering around London. 

Every year on my birthday I do something separately with my parents. This year my dad asked what I fancied doing, and so taking into consideration his fear of heights and my fear of water, I naturally suggested going on the London Eye – a 135-metre-high Ferris wheel, situated on the banks of the River Thames. 

Within five minutes of the capsule door closing, I wanted to get off. The people on the ground grew increasingly smaller and my knees felt like jelly. Everyone else looked perfectly relaxed, standing by the glass and admiring the view. My dad and I however were sat in the centre, looking pale and sweaty. Once the capsule had finished its incline it was a lot better. I managed to take a few photos and at least appreciate the vastness that is London. I am glad that I faced my fear and would quite like to take a night flight – not just yet, mind.

It was the first time that I’d taken my camera to London. In a few weeks I intend to return alone, as it is difficult to take photos when you are with other people, what with keeping on stopping. Therefore, I am not overly pleased with the shots that I got, but I shall post them regardless. There are quite a few, so I shall let the pictures do the talking from here.

Around about here, all I could hear in my head was a line from Parasite God: Watching all the tiny people / how they waste themselves away / obey themselves away.

If I'd have been braver and gotten nearer to the glass, I'd not have captured so much reflection.

I missed most of the interesting landmarks because I was too busy thinking "oh shit, this is really high".

Skater boys.

I had a geek moment here, because Closer, one of my all-time favourite films, features this aquarium.

And on films, I suppose I should mention another of my favourites, V for Vendetta. Remember remember the 5th of November.

I'm lucky to live so close to such an interesting place, really.

01

Today is my 25^th birthday.

Between you and me, I am not happy about this at all. In spite of my “age is just a number” stance, the quarter of a century milestone is not one that I welcome with open arms.

For a start, I cannot relate to my peers. Life has been interesting, definitely, and I have learnt a lot, yes. However, circumstances have kept me from keeping up with the usual pace and social norms. The people that I went to school with seem to be working every available hour and having babies, moving in with partners and saving up for something important. Meanwhile, I live like a teenager. I am awake all night and asleep all morning, pyjamas are my staple wardrobe and I eat dinner at midnight - sometimes straight out of the pan. It is time to make some changes.

Last week I watched a film (Beautiful Kate, I recommend it), in which I heard the line “youth is beauty and beauty is youth”. This caught my attention, what with the impending milestone. Up until recently, for reasons that I will talk about another time, I have not had the opportunity to truly enjoy being young. But is my youth over today? According to results of a survey last year, the average Briton thinks that youth ends at 35, in which case, I am good for another ten years – hooray.

On Saturday I was given a particularly clichéd palm reading by a self-proclaimed-world-renowned clairvoyant over at the Orsett Show. The usual ground was covered: “you are destined to travel to foreign shores”, “do not look for love, love will find you”… but then she looked me right in the eye and said “life will get better but you must not be lazy”. Of course, this struck a chord and I certainly did not need to pay £20 to hear it. Ah, just when she was getting somewhere, she proceeded to tell me of my past life as a witch who cast love spells…

So, I need to make a birthday resolution, lest I reach 30, still pottering about at home in my pyjamas and wondering what on earth I’ve been doing for the past five years. Yes, my resolution shall be to stop procrastinating.

These photographs are inspired by The Kumari Devi of Nepal, also known as The Living Goddess. I thought it appropriate, what with all this talk of youth.

The Kumari are believed to be the incarnation of Taleju, a deity specific to Nepal. A pre-pubescent girl from the Shakya community is selected based on a list of criteria - 32 attributes of perfection. She must have an appropriate horoscope and be able to remain fearless throughout a series of frightening rituals. Once the true goddess has been elected, she lives her life in a temple and her feet must not touch the ground outside. Her life becomes a series of rituals and blessings until the day that she starts menstruating – she then reverts back to her common status and is expected to seamlessly return to ordinary life. Many of the girls struggle to adapt. Other reasons for the Kumari to lose their goddess status include loss of teeth and serious illness. For more information, see this video: Kumari.

For the record, I have 0/32 of the attributes.

Welcome to my blog. Let's see if it doesn't end up in the ever-growing pile of unfinished endeavours. No promises.